I don’t know why I’m so interested in this, but I’m OBSESSED with knowing how much it costs to ship a dead body on an airplane. I don’t know why. Just curious I guess! It’s really hard to find out online and obviously, I’m not going to call a funeral home (who arranges these things) because how awkward is it to ask about something like that “just in case.” they would probably think I was some kind of famous murderer.
I’ve been doing some research and it turns out that you need to buy a big box, called an air tray to put the casket in when it goes on the airplane. I found a website that sells them and for reasons only they know, they also sell air tray themed t-shirts and mousepads! I don’t know who else besides me would want something like this. Instead of posting the shirts online, they should have just called me up and asked for my credit card number. The regular design is pretty good, but the 25th aniversary one is amazing! A grim reaper! An airplane turning into a coffin! Ughh I need this for Hanukkah.
(I posted the mouse pads because you can see the images better. go to the website for more information)
http://www.customairtrays.com/
posted by Caroline
![I was on craigslist last night looking for a display case for a store (long story) but I actually came across an unbelievably awkward REAL post from some crazy lunatic. I would link to it, but craigslist posts expire, and I want this to be around FOREVER. The photo is taken from the image attached to the ad. Read it, and then just let your mind grapes bonk around for awhile trying to figure it out.
i have a billion dollar product that i have developed called KETCHUP2! - $100 (mail order)
Date: 2009-10-29, 7:42PM EDT
Reply to: sale-v3e9w-1443547695@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
i have developed a new condiment called ketchup2. it’s a unique blend of flavors and spices that can be used as a bbq sauce, hot sauce, wing sauce, ketchup, and the best steak sauce you ever had. i am looking for an investor who has the means to get this product to the world market. (does anyone know donald trump????????) i am also offering a 12 bottle case to restaurants and households who want to try my creation. be the first on your block to have k2. call anytime for details. 570 744 2571 bert](http://10.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksnfngD4xD1qz7xa6o1_400.jpg)
I was on craigslist last night looking for a display case for a store (long story) but I actually came across an unbelievably awkward REAL post from some crazy lunatic. I would link to it, but craigslist posts expire, and I want this to be around FOREVER. The photo is taken from the image attached to the ad. Read it, and then just let your mind grapes bonk around for awhile trying to figure it out.
i have a billion dollar product that i have developed called KETCHUP2! - $100 (mail order)
Date: 2009-10-29, 7:42PM EDT
Reply to: sale-v3e9w-1443547695@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
i have developed a new condiment called ketchup2. it’s a unique blend of flavors and spices that can be used as a bbq sauce, hot sauce, wing sauce, ketchup, and the best steak sauce you ever had. i am looking for an investor who has the means to get this product to the world market. (does anyone know donald trump????????) i am also offering a 12 bottle case to restaurants and households who want to try my creation. be the first on your block to have k2. call anytime for details. 570 744 2571 bert
Mass Town Makes It Illegal To Own More Than 3 Cats
posted by Caroline
This is me in kindergarten, in a slammin’ cowgirl themed outfit that my mother allowed me to - no, encouraged me to - wear OUTSIDE THE HOUSE on a very regular basis like it wasn’t the ugliest outfit 1991 had ever seen. Um, so all the white stuff you see there is real live fringe that moved all over the place. I think the bottom is a skort, not a skirt. It’s hard to tell, what with my super ladylike pose.
So as you can see from the calendar, it is March of 1991. All photos should have a calendar in them; it makes it much easier to know when the photo was taken. I am half-remembering that in my class, we did birthday parties for each kid where their parents would come in and bring cupcakes or something and maybe tell all the five year olds about how a cesaerean section works or something. Since I had a July birthday when school wasn’t in session, they made me have my birthday day in march. The fuck? It’s hard to tell a five year old that they are going to pretend it’s their birthday but it’s really four months before their birthday and their parents are in on it but no you are not six years old…or something.
posted by Caroline
I didn’t know when I put up my bird feeder that only the World’s Dumpiest Birds were gonna show up. Where are the cardinals???
i decided to join twitter last night because I’ve been watching a lot of 30 Rock lately and hearing Jack Donaghy say “synergy” over and over made me want to get some synergy for this here blog, whatever that means! So twitter it is! Follow us @mylifeissoawk because mylifeissoawkward has too many letters!
posted by Caroline
PS - please follow us because we want to look popular. We are desperate.
Monique :i totally got 36 bucks out of bank of america for COMPLAINING
Always call your billing companies and say you are sad and unemployed with no light on the horizion and you heard that the competing company is offering a super deal!
They’ll always give you a break!
Note: This does not work in Turkey. I tried.
Here are two names that I used to like A LOT when I was little and now I don’t care for them at all.
1. Crystal
2. Pamela
posted by caroline
So, you know those T Mobile comercials for their MyTouch phones with the Cat Stevens song and whoopi goldberg? Well, have you noticed what’s on the screen of the phone whoopi is holding? An illustration of herself as a Dracula satire! So bizarre! You know that someone actually came up with this idea and then had some illustrator draw it out. AND THEN THEY USED IT IN THE FINAL CUT OF THE COMMERCIAL! augh!
Posted by Caroline
hey guys - sweet sale going on at the jewelry company i work for, Bittersweets New York. Vampires!! Click the photo to go to the site.
The most awkward charitable event of my lifetime (ok I was born two months after) has got to be Hands Across America. Now, a brief intro from wiki:
Hands Across America was a benefit event and publicity campaign staged on Sunday May 25, 1986 in which approximately seven million people held hands in a human chain for fifteen minutes along a path across the continental United States. Participants paid ten dollars to reserve their place in line; the proceeds were donated to local charities to fight hunger and homelessness and help those in poverty.
OK, so clearly this is a bananas stupid idea as well as a great way to spread the flu virus. Even though tons of people actually showed up (why?), most didn’t spend the money to “reserve” their place in line, so the event, which cost more than $17 million to promote and put on, raised only $20 million. So basically seven million people came out on a sunday to hold hands for fifteen minutes for no reason. People are such creeps!
But! Here is what made it AWESOME: the dumbest, most embarrassing 80s celebrities participated, including R2D2 who has no hands. R2D2 you guys! Seriously! That is just like setting him up for failure and embarrassment.
Trenton, New Jersey (with Dionne Warwick and Tony Danza)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (with Jerry Lewis and Scott Baio)
Baltimore, Maryland (with R2-D2 and Emmanuel Lewis.) The first break in the chain west
of New York was reported to be in Maryland due to R2D2 not having hands.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (with the Pittsburgh Pirates Parrot)
Cleveland, Ohio (with David Copperfield)
Cincinnati, Ohio (with Chewbacca the Wookiee)
Columbus, Ohio (with Michael J. Fox)
Toledo, Ohio (with Jamie Farr)
Chicago, Illinois (with Walter Payton …the longest unbroken section of the chain was allegedly in Illinois)
Springfield, Illinois (with 50 Abraham Lincoln impersonators)
St. Louis, Missouri (with Kathleen Turner under the St. Louis Arch)
Memphis, Tennessee (with 54 Elvis Presley impersonators)
Amarillo, Texas (with Kenny Rogers, Renegade, Lee Greenwood and Tony Dorsett at the TX-NM border)
Albuquerque, New Mexico (with Don Johnson, and the Dearholt Family)
Phoenix, Arizona (with Ed Begley, Jr., however desert areas were mostly empty, dotted with one-mile (1.6 km)-long chains of people. Truck drivers sounded their horns during the appointed time.)
San Bernardino, California (with Bob Seger and Charlene Tilton)
Santa Monica, California (with Jack Youngblood, Dudley Moore, Richard Dreyfuss, and Donna Mills)
Long Beach, California (with Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Reverend Robert Schuller, Kenny Loggins, and John Stamos, backed by Papa Doo Run Run
Oh my god you guys, NO one knows who most of these “celebrities” are! You should have just gotten celebrity impersonators, because people love the shit out of that for some reason. The 1980s were lucky that they didn’t have reality shows on TV because if this event was today, it would be 50% VH1 reality show cast members hoping to get photographed and no one wants to hold hands with those slime buckets because they probably have STDs. As does R2D2. I think; I have never seen star wars.
posted by Caroline
Don’t tell Monique, but I found her Christmas present when I was shopping at K Mart yesterday! SHHHHH
Posted by Caroline
Listen up tweens: last week I accidentally started a controversy the likes of which MLISA has never seen before. My crime? Letting everyone know how the FML website was an inadvertent rip-off of the old incarnation of this here website. Now, three of you seventh graders (or whoever the hell reads this website) have left nasty little comments on the post. Here they are!
Name
Too bad for you that My Life is Average is EPIC compared to this website.
At MLIA we rule among ninjas, dinosaurs, and harry potter.
Awkwardness better than being average?
I laugh at the thought.
Rachael
um yeah hi epic fail u losers this site sucks fml is waaaaaaaay better. just saying.
Anonymous
How can you say that the sites are similar but FML and MLIA are worse and suck? No offence but I think FML and MLIA are way better. They are more popular. Funny how FML and MLIA can suck but yours doesn’t. o_O
So I took another look at FML and I literally (figuratively!) died laughing! Just check out this HI-LARIOUS entry:
Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML
OMG OMG OMG I AM LAUGHING SO HARD I CAN’T BREATHE! Except not. What! That doesn’t make sense. A traffic ticket! Oh nooooooo so funny and amazing. I got a traffic ticket this year. Did I post about it? NO! Because nobody cares.
IN SUPER DOUBLE CONCLUSION:
FML is a website for the tweens who aren’t cool or literate enough to read My Life is So Awkward and instead of making you realize just how funny the little things in life really are, it makes you hate the internet for bringing such utter banality into our lives. Also, HOW RUDE ARE YOU that you need to post a nasty comment on a website written by two unemployed girls who make no money off it and do it just for fun. Here is a thing you can do: DON’T READ OUR WEBSITE AND KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF.
You should all very very ashamed of yourselves.
Posted by Caroline
DON’T MENTION THE WAR!!!
Oh man, my stupid macbook pro is being silly and literally easiest genius bar to get to is in Germany. Germans!! This is going to be so awkward!!!
As everyone knows (i am very famous), I work for a jeweler. Last week, she put me in charge of transporting this custom ring with a big cubic zirconia set in it. The cz was temporarily holding the place of a diamond. This seemed like an easy enough job! While wearing the ring, I took home some Thai food to eat for lunch. About an hour later I realized the cubic zirconia was missing while I was walking down the street. After looking everywhere (i barely looked anywhere), I gave up.
The next day, I was eating the leftover thai food for lunch, when I felt something non-food-like in my mouth. It was the cubic zirconia! And I had tried to eat it!
My boss and I have been making a lot of jokes about how I am the worst jewelry assistant because I lose and then attempt to eat the jewelry. But here is the real problem! I have to pick up the ring again today, this time with the REAL diamond set in it. I am so afraid that I am going to eat it!!! I mean, probably there is a good chance that I will get nervous and somehow eat this ring.
posted by caroline
(actual ring with cz pictured below)
blog comments powered by Disqus
