December 2008
35 posts
4 tags
Breaking News: Some babies are ugly
I read Jezebel every day and the ladies who comment on that site are like baby crazy. They love them. They fucking love them. They can’t get enough of babies, in any shape or form. I do not feel like that. My interest in babies is minimal, if anything. That means that my interest in babies belonging to people I actually know personally is minimal. As for people I don’t actually know...
Out of this World
My friend is hiring interns for a design job and she loves sharing with me all of the terrible resumes. Last week she sent me one in which the cover letter detailed the applicant’s complicated living situation for the past several years while neglecting to mention anything about her design abilities. Today my friend received one with a rather questionable list of “relevant”...
“It is a sacred duty for all the fathers and mothers of the world to forbid...”
– MAGIC MOLLY: On the dangers of coffee
remember ole brillat savarin from his anorexic advice?
loves him
Sorry, I almost forgot about animated gif...
Also the cylinder broke in my door, so I had to call everyone I have ever known who might have a copy of my keys and none of them worked. Do you know that locksmiths are 500.00 in New York? That’s sick. Also my locksmith asked me out. sigh.
Also Caroline is coming back! Which is amazing because I missed her so much that I redid this stupid site, and made all those terribly spelled...
.bored
I got bored, and changed the site.
deal. also i figured out that out email boxes were choked with spam and broke down. That explains a lot.
holler at us… lesgirls (at)mylifeissoawkward.com
I also got this sweet scam email!
From Miss Sandra……..
I am writing these letters with due respects and hears full of tears since we
Have not known or met ourselves previously I am...
Hark! The Awkward Angels sing!
My entire life I have lived in New York, or 20 miles outside of it. I have never been to Rockefeller Center. I now realize that my parents were just to smart for that.
I thought it was about time and went up, it was kinda miserable. A lot of tourists and a lot of photos being taken Blerg! I recommend window shopping, those are always much more interesting and far less crowded. Barney’s is...
Biggest Fan's Biggest Birthday!
Guyssss!!!
It’s Zach’s birthday today!! He’s our biggest fan ever. We used to hate each other a whole lot, because he would write mean comments but now we’re besties! His girlfriend even emailed us and asked us to ask him to propose to her. We ratted her out! Sars! Bro’s before Ho’s
Here is a photos of Zach not looking like a douché. And a vintage email from...
The Best Show on Television
I came across Whale Wars on Animal Planet because I thought that it might be a show about whales fighting each other. That is not a joke. However, the show is just as good if not better than whales getting punched in the baleen.
The reality series follows the Sea Shepherds, a group of retarded morons who spend months at sea in the Arctic Ocean, trying to stop Japanese whaling ships from hunting...
Funerals? Have it your way!
I was talking about this the other night ( confession: I think about it constantly) So I thought it was bout time for a repeat, back from the early blog days of 2005.
My funeral will be so awkward. And that’s the way I want it to be. In fact I will take extra measures to make sure that it will be the most awkward event of the century
1. 5o Cent’s “In Da Club”, will be...
Animated Gif Thursdays!
also we’re kind of going through a redesign so hold steady folks.
In case you would like to partake…
omg jury doody
sorry. that joke will never get old.
Ok, so far i work up really early, it was raining and security was the worsttt.
Now they are playing an awesome video about the cruel and unusual punishment in olden times. SCORE. And also guilt tripping you into feeling good about being here.
I got yelled at for sleeping, we were just told we will be here for two days. I cannot do this for two days.
I...
TACO TOWN
Tonight I am giving monique her birthday present and taking her for ALL YOU CAN EAT TACOS at this fancy taco place in between our apartments. It is $21 (pricey!) but I think she is worth it. Also, we like the idea of ALL YOU CAN EAT way too much.
She took me to the same place for my birthday but they weren’t doing AYCE (we literally say it so much we have to abbreviate the phrase) and they...
Gym Awkwardness, volume VIII
At the end of my pilates class the instructor asks us to spell out things with our legs ( much harder than you would believe). She begins…
M-I-C… oh “mickey” I think. Cool! She continues.. H-E-L-L-E.
Oh, I guess that’s her name. Flip over. Other side!
W-I-L-L… OH NO. SHE IS NOT…I-A-M-S
WHAT! Even if that was your name, why would you ask a group of...
Over-enthusiatic kiss leaves girl with a hearing... →
HA.
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
I had a dream that Caroline and I went on a vacation, but we were so poor we could only afford to go to a hostel in Harlem, and we got there but it looked like rural Pennsylvania. But that was OK. Everyone in the hostel was going clubbing (???) so we went, even though Caroline didn’t want to. But the next thing I remember is her crowd surfing to M83!! and loving it!!! Afterwords some guy...
Nice
4 tags
Things got REAL last night
So last night I went out to a bar for my friend Veronica’s birthday (it was the third anniversary of this story*, the BEST STORY EVER). I was waiting in line for the bathroom, when this girl swooped in and cut everyone. When she came out of the bathroom, her friend, who was not standing in the line, started to move towards the door. I politely pointed out that I was next. The girl told me...
3 tags
Support the Lor-Pedo
Noted Friend of the Blog Lori is doing the Iron Man Triathalon in August to raise money for Lymphoma & Leukemia. She has to raise $6500 to be able to compete, so if she doesn’t do it, it’s going to be extremely embarrassing for her, since everyone already knows about it and will be like “oh hey Lori, how’d the triathalon go?” and she’d have to be like...
1 tag
I GOT A JOB, SUCKAAAAS
Thus ends four and a half months of solid unemployment. Also I have a really huge, awkward zit on the side of my nose and a slight cold, so I am going to make a dynamite first impression on my coworkers.
posted by Caroline
1 tag
