I was reading the Frequently Asked Questions section on a silversmith’s website and they are so bizarre. By definition, a FAQ is something FREQUENTLY asked, not random crap that ONE person ever has wanted to know the answer to. Someone needs to call this guy out because the questions he posts are in no way “frequently” asked of him and I’m pretty sure some of them were never asked but he just wanted to show off some of his awesome silversmithing knowledge.
Some examples:
• Some of the gilding has worn off my fish slice, can it be replated?
• Can you convert a place fork into an ice cream fork?*
• Can you repair a baby spoon that’s been down the garbage disposal?
(you aren’t supposed to actually use a silver baby spoon, genius, unless you WANT your baby to eat sulphuric acid AKA the main ingredient in silver polish)
• I have about 70 pounds of silver coins. Where should I sell them?
(I have 60lbs of coins…is the answer different?)
• I have a Mexican candelabra stamped “sterling” on the bottom. Are the arms sterling?
(the answer to this one is “probably”)
• Why is there a metallic taste when I drink coffee or tea?
• Who was America’s first silversmith?
(no one ever asked this, you liar)
• Is it true about a smith’s reflection in The Bible’s Malachi 3:3?
(this question is too boring to be true)
• I have just started collecting. Are there any silver magazines?
(this is my favorite question because the answer given is yes, there is and it is called Silver Magazine. So I am supposed to believe that a person would find a silversmith to ask them this question rather than just googling “silver magazine” and being amazed that the first result is exactly the answer to their prayers.)
*an ice cream fork (i looked it up) is literally a spork. Old timey 1800s people apparently couldn’t handle eating ice cream with a fork OR a spoon so they demanded both and - voila! - the spork was born. Idiots.
posted by caroline
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