Viva Brazil!
I’ve waited a really long time for this…
25 years, to be exact.
My dad’s Brazillian, and when I was younger my brother and I would beg him FOREVERRRR to get us citizenship. He looked into it recently and said we were too old since you can’t get it after you are 18 and he should have done it earlier and..whoops!
Recently they overturned that law and decided that anyone can be a citizen! Party time! Carnivale! The weird thing is, to get a passport, you have to first get a brazilian birth certificate, which is stupid because OBVIOUSLY new jersey, where I was born, is not located inside brazil even though it’s a really big country so maybe there are actually a few new jerseys hiding somewhere in the amazon. We pulled together the correct (THEY MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!) documents and after a few trips finally got the OK to bring in a witness. OF COURSE I had to bring Caroline, you know. For the blog’s sake
The security guard at the entrance to the consulate is the worst! I wish I had a photo of him. He gets paid to yell at people and tell them what to do, but with so much malice! PHONES OUTSIDE. GET IN THIS LINE. DO THIS. he also had a weird system of favorites and let some people cut the line.
He also covered up a picture of Lula, the former prez of Brazil with a torn piece of newspaper because I guess the newest president’s photo hasn’t been taken? Or delivered to the consulate yet? Lame, you guys. Super lame. How long does it take to fedex a photo? can’t they pick it up at the local CVS?
Finally we got to meet the Lady Who Naturalizes You. Yeah, that’s probably her official title. She was mostly OK except she yelled at me because my signature on the documents didn’t PERFECTLY replicate the signature on my american passport. She told that I didn’t take this seriously enough and that we looked sad (mostly we were nervous that we were missing some of the papers) and that we should move to Brazil where they “samba away all of life’s problems.” She actually said that.
The best part was learning that my brother has to join the military. or get official papers stating that he doesn’t have to go to the military. Whatever. Caroline and I are totally going to secretly enlist him by emailing the brazilian military general who’s email I assume is general@brazil.com.brazil.uk.co. We think he could use the discipline. And it would get him off of foursquare. Can you check in to the military?
In the end I got a receipt saying I was Naturalized, but the real certificate is mailed out later. Booo! Also there was no carnivale parade and I didn’t get free havianas. But I get to go back on Friday and get a passporta!
posted by Monique
