I was just watching the local news and heard an awesome story about a dude who got bit by a cobra! First of all, the guy owns a cobra, a copperhead and a rattlesnake, so he’s obviously a creepy weirdo. He bought the snakes from another creep, who said that the venom sacks had been removed. WHICH THEY HAD NOT. He should have gotten an x-ray done on the snakes first or something. So anyway, he got bitten by the cobra, which isn’t surprising considering that it’s basically a cobra’s job to be a terrifying biting machine. The guy had to get airlifted to the Bronx because that was the only area hospital that has a cobra antidote. This actually makes me happy because I live relatively close to the Bronx, so if shit ever goes down and a snake comes after me, I will be yelling “GET ME TO THE BRONX IMMEDIATELY!”

OK, now that I’ve covered the circumstances, can we discuss this photo for a sec? Does the cobra have its own cell phone? Who does it have to call?

posted by Caroline